Too Proud?

Most of us feel proud about things connected with us. Pride's root is found in family and friends, our achievements, abilities or place in life.  Being proud carries a sense of pleasure and satisfaction. It indicates that we value our qualities. Pride causes a person to bear their self well, attracting respect. Pride in another’s achievements lifts their spirit. So in correct measure proud is good to think, feel, be.

However, pride is the cause of many hurts and offences, and is the citadel of the self-righteousness. It‘s the province of those who exclude and devalue others, based on perceived superior or inferior qualities. Pride rejects, leaving a person to continue drowning in their sorrows. The bastion of ignorance, it stops us from admitting that we don’t know. It stands a barrier raised against right opportunities and possibilities, considering them fearful, to be fought against. The proud mind elevates its owner to undeserved heights so they become unapproachable and unnecessarily aloof. Pride reaches wrong conclusions because questions are not asked. It is the defence of those who feel frail inside but can’t admit it. Much effort and enthusiasm is needed to keep it alive.

So, I ask myself ‘Am I persistently raising offensive unnecessary defences?’.

Weighted Expectations

In relationships – whether business, professional or social – we enter with and develop expectations.  In the business sphere these are based on what we know of an organisation’s reputation and branding. Our interactions with their representatives, from the front desk to the board room also have influence.  Professionally, the organisation’s core values, contract and statement of employment are the foundation for employee/employer expectations.  In the social sphere these are based on the local culture of our living environment, friends, family, and our own internal mores.  They may be explicit or unrevealed.

When our expectations are not met, it’s tempting to move into rejection mode.  But before doing this, spotlight them to see if they are reasonable.  In doing business with an organisation we have right to expect them to keep their promises.  Once we enter into a contract of employment we have right to expect the employer/employee to maintain those expectations.  Is this true for the social sphere?  Yes it is.  Except when expectations are attempts to manipulate a person for worse, or according to our thinking, for the better. 

Our expectations of other people can become burdensome to them, even if rooted in the best of intentions.

You may never know ....

You may never know what, and how much of 'it' you have within you, until you ‘rise to the challenge’, ‘take up the gauntlet’, or ‘receive the baton’.

These terms are challenging for different reasons. Rising is a different posture to kneeling or sitting. In rising we change from a stance that is possibly very comfortable (or not) in order to achieve greater than we have so far. In taking up the gauntlet we recognise that for us to overcome the challenge we have to use new/different tactics to those we have before. Receiving the baton calls for the runner to get ready, be aware of the speed and timing of their colleague, and have expectation of success. Once within their grasp the runner has taken responsibility for ensuring their team achieves the goal.

Opportunities are sometimes presented as challenges. How we perceive these has implications for our management of them.  How we managed them impacts how people in our sphere of influence view us.  How they view us, has implications for the level of confidence and trust they develop in us. The depth of their confidence and trust in us has implications for how, and in what direction we advance.  You may never perceive and improve until you rise, take or receive.

Playing the right notes

 

Harmony happens musically when different instruments are played together using tones that complement each other. It also happens when people of different vocal ranges sing together, avoiding tones which create dissonance and unpleasantness to the ears.  Particular tones when added to others make chords.  Chords are sharp or flat depending on the notes they include.  Some add a little piquancy producing a bright sound, whilst others are flat resulting in a dull noise.  A composer puts tones together that create the mood desired, influencing the emotions of the listener.  What relevance does this have to work and life?

Individuals’ input into relationships, influence what they sound and look like.   Negativity causes the atmosphere around them to be flat, whilst positivity adds brightness.  Harmony empowers people and leads to them giving their best resulting in peace and joy.  Harmony is people working together to make the journey of life/work easier to navigate.  Harmony is the opposite of discord.  The desire for harmony is not a weakness.  It is a strength that causes one to look at matters creatively and develop solutions that will increase effectiveness.   Harmony’s purpose is construction not destruction.  The manager, as composer, has to be aware of what might affect the team’s harmony, producing discord and anxiety, resulting in poor performance. 

The impact of disharmony in our workplaces, communities, towns and cities is evident today. 

Held up, held back, held by, held from

 

Sometimes we think we’ve dealt with our fears by joking about the thing we don’t understand, that overwhelms or makes us feel uncomfortable.  We describe it in terms we hope will reduce its size, importance or relevance, allowing us to stroke it without fear of harm.  Unfortunately, it continues to have hold and control because curiosity about it persists.

The thing’s power lies in the fact that it's present in the mind as something needing to be overcome.  Once the fear has actually been faced and dealt with honestly, it really does become what we desire it to be – powerless.  We are then free to enjoy our personal growth.