The Barrier Breaker

What helps a person break through their own barriers?  Answer: Encouragement. 

We see it in those impacting, historical, record breaking, world shaking, people moving moments we all know about, but also in the areas of our lives which only a few people share.  Whether good or bad  they would not have happened as and when they did, without someone giving another encouragement. 

Encouragement:

·         Gives a person a nudge if they’re feeling reticent to step forward

·         Tells a person that others believe in them 

·         Tells a person that others potential in them

·         Stops a person going backwards or even stopping in their tracks 

·         Injects courage into a person

·         Causes a person to bravely face their challenges, expecting to overcome them

·         Causes a person to rise to the place of their fulfilment

·         Causes a person to invest more in their personal vision

·         Moves a person to a point where they in turn can help others

·         Moves a person from obscurity to being well-known in their sector

Your encouragement has impact that you may not directly see yourself, but which generations to come will gain benefit from.

What’s wrong with enduring?

When we think of ‘endurance’ we assume suffering, pain and hardship to be the total experience.  That’s a frightening thought as no one wants to live any of these.  But looking a bit closer at ‘endurance’ we see that it also carries the connotation of ability or strength to continue or last, having stamina, being of a lasting quality, or extended in time.

I think we all want endurance in our lives, but in our attempts to meet our destiny, we’re persuaded that swiftness is what we should value.  So we run headlong into bad decisions, that in the bigger scheme are not good for, and demoralise us.  We get frustrated that takes us longer to achieve what other people have in a shorter timeframe, without knowing the true cost to them.  We run another person’s race and get wiped out physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Swiftness indicates speed, strength indicates ability, whilst endurance indicates patience and persistence in reaching the goal.  The speedy quickly get tired if conditions change; the strong rely on their strength which is in itself a weakness.  Those that endure get the time to  last the distance and reap the rewards of their particular race.

Row, row, row your boat....

Amongst the stories about Jesus, we read about the disciples rowing in rough seas and blustery winds, eventually seeing him walking on the water towards them, bringing him into the boat and suddenly being on the shoreline.

This makes me think about the times in our lives when we do what and all we can, to get where we need to be, row valiantly through difficult circumstances, give all we’ve got, get tired, frustrated, and blind to how we can navigate the way to our shoreline.  This is the time when we need someone else to be in our boat, helping us to quickly cross the difficult waters to reach our goal.  Sometimes pride gets in the way, and we feel that we have to be self-reliant, so row with all our strength and knowledge and still get nowhere as we don’t understand the tides and currents we’re in.  We look at the people we know and don’t ask for help, don't realise they know how to find the way, or refuse if they offer.  Willingness to let other people into our boat to help us go the distance, would release our time and effort for better and bigger things. 

                                                                                                                          

On the other hand we’re also the person who has the knowledge, skills, and abilities to help someone, and realises they’re tired.  We're unable to walk on water, but have the capacity to help.  We’ve recognised what they need to do, should offer to get into the boat to help them move more quickly and efficiently over their unsteady sea, but we don’t.  What stops us? Not wanting to be seen as an interfering busy body, or being unwilling to face rejection if they chose not to use our capabilities. Being aware of our motivation for getting into the boat will go a long way to helping us do right by those we row with. Stepping out of our selves will enable us to offer, but not take rejection personally if it is not accepted.

Problems + Co-operation = Success

I watched the film Apollo 13 for the first time on Saturday.  Right at the end of the film – Jim Lovell played by Tom Hanks says: “The problem happened two years before I was selected to fly as captain on the mission.”.  This started me thinking about problems, which have their roots in the past, to which we had no input, but which somehow impact us now.  Sometimes we're expected to do something about them and if we don’t know the beginnings it can be difficult to resolve.   We could even make matters worse.  

This doesn’t mean we can’t be part of the solution.  In the film those on the ground were tenacious in testing the theoretical answers, and developing understanding of what did and didn’t work, whilst each person in the space craft waited for instructions so they could play their part, and the real solution be implemented.   Although neither the captain nor the crew were the root of the original problem, and didn’t have the knowledge of how to get out of it, they realised that survival meant co-operating with colleagues who did.   They threw hissy fits, fought with and blamed one another and sunk into self-absorption (as we would too in the same circumstances), but had they remained in that state the overall result would have been negative.   

                                                          

Although Apollo 13’s original mission – to fly to the moon – failed, it was successful in the fact that a live crew came back to earth.  Individuals involved in solving the problem, were thought worthy of further responsibility and promotion.   Willingness to be part of the solution rather than another aspect of the problem can stand a person in good stead.

Getting ready for opportunity

We often wish for the ‘big moment’ to happen, believing it has the most potential to impact us.  But really, it’s the ordinary, such as meeting our responsibilities, interacting with the people around us, the difficult, the quiet, the calm, the peaceful times – the ‘small moments’ -  that allow us to think, adjust and be shaped for opportunity.   Looking out for the ‘big’ can be disappointing, as it may not present itself in the way we imagine and expect.  After all, ‘big’ is really made up of many ‘small’s, and whilst in the experience, it can be a challenge to see how these are moving us towards readiness.  Look at a baby’s face when they have taken those early, small, unsteady steps.  You will see joy mixed with a sense of achievement because they have succeeded in walking.  What they don’t realise is that they are getting ready for the opportunity to run, skip and jump  - something older children take for granted.  Be receptive of and appreciate the ‘small’.  Add them to your trophies.  And keep moving towards readiness for further opportunities.

Who starts again?

Anyone who:

1.       Has ever thought they had finished but found circumstances had changed.

2.       Wants to reinvent their self.

3.       Is not satisfied with the status quo.

4.       Has been hurt but refuses to hibernate.

5.       Wants a better family life.

6.       Wants to be a role model in their sphere of influence. 

7.       Realises that they have to do, or die and still be walking.

8.       Has loved, lost and found again.

9.       Has made a mistake and learnt from it.

10.   Is willing to walk away for peace sake.

11.   Has turned over a new leaf.

12.   Has said "Never again!", but rises to the challenge.

13.   Thinks they’re not too old to try once more.

14.   Decides not to let their circumstances get them down.

15.   Sitting in darkness, has a light bulb moment and sees a different way.

16.   Feels alone but decides to reach out.

17.   Listens and realises they have something to learn.

18.   Has faith in something bigger than themselves.

19.   Has reached the bottom and realises the only way is up.

20.   Has failed but refuses to be labelled ‘failure’.

21.   Has read ‘No go!’ but sees ‘Go on!’.

22.   Bears bruises but refuses to be walking wounded.

23.   Has fallen, but is determined to get up.

24.   Was counted out, but stands up to be counted.

25.   Loses a race, but trains for another believing they will win.

26.   Has been betrayed, but not lost faith.

27.   Has been deceived, but is willing to trust another.

28.   Has been rejected, but recognises their own worth.

29.   Believes the  support around them will help them to succeed.

30.   Refuses to let anyone despise their youth.

31.   Has absorbed life’s punches, but still comes out fighting.

Are you ready to start again?

Going it alone?

Going through a particularly rough experience, we sometimes feel that we are alone in it, and in a way we are correct, because that particular occurrence, how we see it, the baggage we bring into it, that particular timeframe and space is ours.  Our reaction towards it happens on the inside where no one else can see, so yes, at that moment we are the only one going through it. This is because no one else can get insight of us, unless we communicate to give them access to what’s going on within the deep recesses of our selves.  

It’s tempting then to think that we’re drowning in the experience.  We feel wretched and even wish for death.  No use denying, we’ve all said it, believing for a few moments, that possibility would release us from the pain that we’re in.  However, what we experience is not always about me, myself and my shadow, though at the time it appears so.   Instead it and its various strands become part of our toolkit, so that when someone else is going through their experience and lets us in, we can encourage them, and be an example showing that they can and will grow through it.

Reflection has benefits

Before stepping into the new, the old needs reflection.  This is necessary if you are to recognise what you’ve learnt from it.  Reflection, like looking in the mirror under a bright light, enables us to see the pores where dirt got in and the spots created from the infection which with some care, could have been removed.  I’ve found that if I’ve gone through similar experiences with resultant negative outcomes, it’s because I’ve not learnt the lesson(s) I should have, forcing me to reflect and notice.   Being fearful of and not reflecting weakens you in your future.  Reflection is not about beating yourself up; it’s about recognising potential.

Reflection is the opportunity to:

·         Tie up loose ends

·         Make sure those ends are properly cauterised 

·         Move towards becoming who you want to be

·         Step into the new with awareness

·         Avoid making the same mistakes in the future as you have now

·         Become confident in your increasing internal wealth

Do, reflect, recognise and accept lesson(s) to be learnt, synthesise, go forward.